made up my mind,
will just hear,won’t listen;
have expectations about everything,
can’t see my own back;
it’s easy, will criticise,
know getting hands dirty is difficult;
ignorant about own mistakes,
rather its convenient to raise a finger;
this is how life goes on,
conscience is sleeping for so long;
This is how our lives are in this fast world.
running out of gumption,
an ineffable mood set inside,
swallowing chagrin of losing,
notwithstanding discerpible actions;
with a small heart wrecked of emotions,
started running away;
ran into epiphany of being heresy,
showing the diminutive value of
predilection for you;
submitting to ephemeral anxiety,
i forgot how beautiful life is;
now I started picking up the pieces,
still running, but feeling better;
To the best of what I remember, the first time I have ever failed at something was in class 6 science examination(1997). I was broke inside. I never had great grades at school, was just above average. It was then I have decided that never again I shall fail. Until recently in 2010, I never failed, except coming close to it one time. This time it was an examination during job training. I was hanging my face in shame showing the facade` of ‘it doesn’t matter and happens attitude’. I was feeling butterflies in my stomach in front of 60 odd people. Since then I have failed / missed at various aspects.
Upon reflection, the more I resist the advent of failure, the faster it was approaching. I knew deep inside its absolutely fine to go through failure and there is a place for it. But my resistance just made things worse.The fallout of the resistance to failure was evident in my life. Like a rapid fire spreading across forest, I was failing at things where I was doing great/ well. Anxiety/fear of failure was the culprit and I was the victim. Like Benjamin Franklin said i have paid too much for the whistle and wholly responsible for miseries.
Like they say, some things can’t be taught. Should be learned the hard way only through experience.
Have you also paid too much for the whistle? Think of it, its time for some reflection.